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THE AL GORE virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting. 
THE RONALD REAGAN virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored. 
THE CLINTON virus - Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory. 
THE BOB DOLE AKA: VIAGRA virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy. 
THE LEWINSKY virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
emails everyone about what it did.
THE JESSE JACKSON virus - Warns you constantly about illegitimate file
reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background. 
THE MIKE TYSON virus - Quits after two bytes. 
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus-Your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, Then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 MB. 
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus - Deletes all old files.
THE PROZAC virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
doesn't care. 
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus - Only attacks minor files. 
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back. 
And last but not least ..... 
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through Windows.
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